Standing in Place, Past and Present

In November of 1997, a 6 month old pup was placed in my arms. She was tiny, soft and warm. She nuzzled under my chin and sighed.  She looked up at me, licked my chin and settled back into place.

In the early morning hours last Tuesday, my 16 year old pup was still tiny, soft and warm.  She nuzzled under my chin and sighed. She looked up at me, licked my chin and settled back into place.

A few hours later we stood together in her vet’s office.  The news was incomplete yet completely definitive: we could run a battery of tests to find out what has happened in over the past 38 hours but the prognosis was she would not get better.  She had stopped eating and drinking. One side of her tiny, soft, warm body did not respond. She would not be coming home with me.

She and I had come full circle.  Together we started a life that wouldn’t last.  We bought a house and moved. We married and divorced. We started and stopped 3 jobs.  We welcomed and sadly said goodbye to a cat.  We fell in love again. We married and moved again.

Our journey together began and ended with a nuzzle and a kiss.

Someone once said a person is in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Pets span all 3.  That little dog gave me a reason to get up in the morning when I felt life wasn’t worth trying.  She celebrated every time I walked in the room. She made friends with countless people who claimed they didn’t like dogs.  She offered comfort and love to a group of struggling divorcees.

Her reason:

to teach me

naps are restorative

nothing beats eggs for breakfast

roll in the grass

the sun there is bask in

greet each person like a VIP

examine every blade of grass

every petal

every scent

 unconditional love

Her season:

16 years, 2 months

3 homes, 2 marriages, 1 cat

enough life lessons  for a graduate degree

She’ll be with me for a lifetime.

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2 thoughts on “Standing in Place, Past and Present

  1. I so loved that little Raggiegirl! My heart is broken for you, but simultaneously rejoicing because she was a part of our lives.
    I’ll miss her always and always, always, love you!

  2. I felt every word. I have a 15 year old pup…I’ve always called her my pup and while in good health today I know that could change tomorrow. She was a gift to my daughter who long ago left her with me to go off to college. She tried to claim her back a couple of years ago and I had every excuse in the book for why she could not move. She was too old. It would be too different. She would not settle in. But we know the real reason right? She was mine. She lays at my feet as I type and follows me from room to room. Though not as lovey as when she was younger; I know she loves me and I know this…I will love her forever.

    I hope you are going better now but know that others are feeling your pain and understanding both your joy and sadness; it will get better and I hope soon…when all you will have are sweet, sweet memories of that adorable little face.

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